May 22nd

Today I feel much better.

Thank you for your encouraging notes you sent me, my lovely followers. You guys seriously made my day and gave me the kick in the ass I needed.

The past three days have been SUPER sunny, warm, and perfect. The best long weekend imaginable.

Saturday - Went to the lake with three of my comedian friends. Then went to the beach with my best friend for a late night bon fire and star gaze.

Sunday - Cleaned my sister’s house, took her dog for a two hour walk to laze on the Commons in the sun, then went to a holiday celebration created by my group of friends, complete with ghetto carting, pie eating competition, put out a forest fire, and walked across town to another party!

Monday - Went for coffee with a friend, took my sister’s dog for another walk and laze in the park, met my sister and her friends for a backyard drink, and GOT MY PHONE CALL!

That’s right, got my call! I start work next week!! woooo!

Today it poured! so much rain! But I made whole-wheat raisin bread, spicy roasted garbanzo beans, edemame dip.

I feel even though the exercise has been just walking, it’s been great! And I’ve been riding my bike every where as well.

Also, with cooking so much healthy food, it really helps.

REBLOG if your SW was over 140 lbs!

(via liftheavyshit-and-kickass)

May 18th

Hello followers

I just want to apologize for a second. I haven’t been posting pretty much since my couch surfing has began. And I’m really sorry for that. A big reason is that I’ve been really down and I don’t want to just complain a whole bunch and put negative thoughts on your dash.

The truth is I haven’t weighed or measured myself since the 5th, and I haven’t exercised all month. To be even more honest, I haven’t even given a fuck about what I eat, though I have only binged twice.

This is the truth. I am not much of an inspiration or anything and I didn’t want anyone to see how weak I have become.

I know I have to start over.

I feel like I don’t know how to start over.

I’m mad at myself because I’m always having to start over.

But I hope you are all doing wonderfully! Summer is just around the corner, and I know y’all be sporting some hot bods!

May 7th

So I’ve been couch surfing for a week. It’s not so bad. Though exercise is very difficult. All my belongings are scattered in various friend’s closets, and I don’t have my sneakers or my clothes.

Food-wise, I have been doing very well. No binging, no overeating. It’s good. I don’t feel very well mind you, but I think that will change with stability.

I might be going to work a week early, which is amazing. I’m really hoping for that. Once I get there and all set up in my hotel room, then I can get my routine and get my life back to normal!

May 2nd

So I’ve moved all my things out and have begun my couch surfing quest.

It’s pretty awkward.

I’m going to do a couple days of dukan just to jump start my diet and then I’ll continue on what I’ve called the couch surfers diet. It is apples, oranges, eggs, peanut butter sandwiches, rice noodles and veggies and whatever meat is cheapest - probably pork chops.

This morning my friend made me bacon and eggs. Since then I’ve had some tea, a granola bar and lots of water. Later today I’ll make some fish.

My mother wants to see me this evening. I’d rather not. I’m supposed to have a conference call with my editor.

This afternoon, once I sort out my shit, I’ll do my intervals. It’s only 2pm, so hopefully by 3pm I can get my gear on and work it out. Then have a shower and be fresh for 5pm.

Okay right. Life is hard. here we go.

April 27th

Okay so a little less depressing… I showered yesterday. (You should be impressed - it was the only thing I did all day) and today I made a bunch of phone calls, got a job for tomorrow and exercised. So I might have been bed ridden for days, but I have gotten a little better.

I also remembered yesterday that abs are made in the kitchen, so I need not beat myself up over not exercising every day. Many people do just 3 days a week. I just have to eat healthy foods, but allow myself treats or “bad” foods every once in a while to keep the temptation to binge down.

Remembering that made me feel much better about the whole couch surfing/exercise thing. and I also realized that eating salads and rice noodle stirfrys will be just as cheap as eating canned shit. So I can do this.

Wow, I CAN DO THIS.

Side note - how do you tone the thigh muscle right underneath your ass?

April 25th

I have kind of fallen off the band wagon. And I tried really hard to get back on over the weekend, but I am just having the most difficult time getting out of bed. And because of that, I’ve been eating one huge meal at midnight. I haven’t showered or changed or talked to anyone since Sunday. It’s all bad. I know this. Sometimes I just get really depressed. All I’ve been asking myself is “How did I get here?”

Over the weekend I’m moving my things into a storage locker. I will no longer have an apartment and I still haven’t received confirmation of my next job. I’m freaking out a little bit. This will be the first time in my life that I don’t have a secure home or some sort of stability. I know that change is good, but all so abruptly is terrifying. I will be couch surfing for the next month and living out of a backpack. It really sucks. But I will get through it.

I’m also kind of scared of the inability to exercise when couch surfing. I’m really self conscious when I work out so I hate doing it around other people. I mean I can and will go for runs, but I really like interval training. I’m also worried about my food intake. I foresee myself eating a lot of canned soup and peanut butter sandwiches. And I mean, how can I possibly healthily lose weight like that?

April 22nd

Ahhhh brand new day. Happy.

I just woke up, ate the rest of my sushi - 280 calories. Had a few chocolate covered almonds - 200 calories.

I feel good about today. Going to see and INCREDIBLE apartment at 4pm.

I think between now and then, I’m just going to have a shower, go for a coffee. Read a little in the cafe, try the convo suggestions my bestie gave me with the barista.

When I get home tonight I’m going to do my intervals, cook dinner and settle down with a movie.

Today I am happy to be alive.

April 21st

So last night turned into a drama fest shit show. I drank a lot, my bestie went crazy. Had to take care of her, break into her boyfriend’s place, get her shit and put her to bed. Fucking head case. Then I walk home, fucking get jumped. Fight two guys. Leave them there. Go home and drunken binge on candy.

Wake up hung over as fuck, pulled a muscle or sprained my thumb. Hand hurts like a bitch. Go for coffee with a friend. Then look at two apartments - total bust. Went to crazy friend’s place to check on her, console her.

Then finally at 10pm, I get home. Haven’t eaten all day, and am starving. Went to the grocery and got 16 pc sushi, salad and chocolate covered almonds. When I got back home, still fucking starving, took the time to look up the calories and allotted myself 10 pc sushi, the salad and half a cup of chocolate covered almonds. I am so proud that instead of inhaling the food I took the time to figure it out and avoid a binge. It makes me feel good. I ate a total of 1080 calories in one sitting. Which I would technically classify as a binge, but since it was my only meal and was pretty balanced, aside from the 500 calories of chocolate covered almonds, I actually feel pretty good about it.

I wish I didn’t deal with the getting jumped thing with eating. not good. but aside from my hand i’m fine. those guys might not be.

Tomorrow is a new day. I will go see wicked apartments and exercise! And cook some great food!

April 20th

I’ve just woken up and will do my interval and a quick yoga sesh. Eat something high in protein. Shower and get ready, maybe have a snack. Then walk to my sister’s to await our family dinner. After dinner I’m going to the casino to see my friend perform. All in all should be a good day. :)

Now time to weigh in and exercise!!

Tried Zumba for the first time tonight. Holy fun! I must have looked like an idiot, but I loved it! I jumped right into the cardio one. It was rough. I never realized until then how awful of a dancer I am. I the only kind I can do in real life is salsa and crunkin.

So that was 45 minutes, then I though great I’ll do the biggest loser yoga with Bob……

Jesus.

I stopped 20 minutes in because I just couldn’t take it. Gotta build my upper strength! It’s my new goal to be able to complete that yoga with ease.

Here’s a lady question for ya…

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